Wrapped in the warm embrace of a dupatta, costumed expatriate Indre S moves with equal ease through the light pre-Deepawali atmosphere and Chandigarh’s social scenes at a festive Indian wear cat party in early October. For her, this is another opportunity to explore the various colorful interweaves of India’s socio-cultural fabric. It’s been two years since she became a member of a cat party group of 10 women, all from her area and aged between 35 and 60. “At first I wondered if the kitty party had anything to do with the Hello Kitty kawaii cult! Now that I’ve settled in well with the group, I’ve come to understand kitty parties as informal social groups where norms can vary and last a long time. Female friendships can be fostered and a foreigner like me can learn a lot about India and its people. the group is like my second family of sisters, mother and aunts, whom I miss so much when I am far from home,” says Indre, a 43-year-old housewife from Lithuania who has been married and living in India for more than 10 years.
She says her kitten group doesn’t follow the standard protocol of paying a nominal membership fee. “The idea,” she reports, “is to meet for lunch once a month, play games like tombola, share experiences (like recent trips) and talk about everything under the sun, from new restaurants and shops in town to politics.”
Ideally, the cat party is an informal thrift club with its roots in North India. Believed to have originated in the early 1950s, shortly after partition, cat parties became a way of life for women who wanted to get out of their homes, socialize with other women and make money while doing it. Generally, all kitty members have to put up a certain amount of money as a subscription fee. At each kitten party, one member is chosen by lottery, to whom all the participants pay the fee for the next kitten, and the chosen member, in turn, takes them to lunch or dinner.
53-year-old Simi Chhabra (center) | Photo credit: special arrangement
Simi Chhabra, 53, from Delhi, says she has been involved in the Delhi kitty for 23 years and is currently associated with two kitty groups. As a make-up artist and esthetician, she believes that cat parties have been a fertile ground for promoting their brands for most business people like her. “I have one group of cat-women entrepreneurs, which I have been a part of since 2008. The second group consists of housewives. In the world of word-of-mouth advertising is considered the most effective, and this is exactly how the reputation of a brand spreads in social circles; cat-party groups act as catalysts there. Not only do I get to communicate with other entrepreneurs, but I can also reveal my potential to clients. The group will reveal all support,” she smiles.
Simmi reminds me of an episode from an Indian serial Gullakwhere the housewife, Shanti Mishra, refers to her kitty as a committee, and just as she gets a chance to save up a lump sum, all set to receive her kitty mates, a bout of high blood pressure keeps her bedridden.
Sympathizing with his wife, the husband offers to cook, clean and entertain the guests. Her sons also invest. After the party is over, the housemates ponder the fate of the lump sum. At that moment, the doorbell rang. The delivery man brings home a mixer grinder that Shanti, who wanted to upgrade sil-batta because her joints hurt, he ordered. When the men in the house question her purchases, she asserts her freedom, her financial agency over the money she “earned” on the committee.
When I tell this story to Sakshi, who owns bridal salons and is a stay-at-home mom in Chandigarh, she laughs. “In our kitty, we all contribute money for dinner and the chosen host gets a lump sum. Kitty allows women to spend money however they want – whether it’s luxury bags, fixed deposits, jewellery, a house or a gift. It’s our money; that’s why we have a finance agency and there’s a certain level of satisfaction.”
Sakshi | Photo credit: special arrangement
Unlike the scene in Gullakcat parties have outgrown home dinners and are now expanding to restaurants and high-end cafes. “The idea is to have a good time, without the hassle, without the stress of cooking. The ’90s trend of having parties at home is gone. Also, many men have started joining a couple of kitties,” says Simi.
Cat parties keep reinventing themselves with the changing tides of time. Their functionality varies between providing financial security and strengthening strong bonds. Much of this also has to do with traveling together. “In 2023, after five years of saving our entire lump sum, my kitty members have invested that money in traveling to all the checks in the country,” says Shobha Chhabra, 68, from Chandigarh. She is now aiming to travel once a year with her fellow kittens. “We all give INR 5,000 every month, so the idea is to save enough to go to one of the hill temples next year,” she says.
For Shobha, who lost her husband more than a decade ago, cat parties are also about emotional health and connecting with women of all ages. “I live with my daughter, who runs her own business, and I don’t want to be completely dependent on her for my emotional health. So, I have tons of friends. Tomorrow, when she gets married, I’ll have friends to share the void of her absence,” she hopes.
(Center) Vanita Ashok, 58, fitness professional, motivational speaker and columnist | Photo credit: special arrangement
Like Shobha, 58-year-old Vanitha Ashok, a Bengaluru-based fitness professional, motivational speaker and columnist, also feels the need to attend cat parties to socialize; for mental health and building support systems. For more than 35 years, she has participated in the urban kitty. “I’m part of two female kitten groups; one has 35 members and the other has 10. My husband and I are involved in two pairs of kittens that have about 30-50 members. The oldest group I’m in is 35 years old and we’ve grown up together as people and mothers and so on. So we have a lot of history and we can rely on each other,” she says.
With the male gaze casting a long shadow over the idea of cat parties, they are eclipsed by the stereotype of derisive gossip factories. But peeling back the layers of misunderstandings and ill-reputes that cat parties create, we are introduced to the highly insightful machinery of a female-engineered financial agency and a tangled web of coexistence and emotional and mental support systems that are as underappreciated as the iceberg that hit the Titanic.
Published – November 7, 2025, 4:55 PM IST
